Sunday, January 18, 2009

On Gratitude

I've been struggling for a while with the impulses that gratitude inspires, and the fear that in thanking the many people who have been so kind to me in the past few weeks, I am going to seem to be asking for more.

It's a quandary. Do I want to sound greedy? Or do I want to seem ungrateful?

Having spent much more time than I should in hovering between the two, I will now err on the side of expressing my feelings.

I am so grateful to all the lovely people who have been sending messages of encouragement and support. I cannot express what each and every kind word has meant to me during this very difficult time in my life. I know now that I do not walk alone, and that understanding is infinitely precious.

That said, I also feel the need to acknowledge the extra thoughtfulness and effort that some people have gone to in order to shine extra light in this rather dark time. I am unendingly grateful to Nancy and Tom for their gift of art and inspiration; to Pat, Dori, Annie and Pat F. for their ongoing advice and support; to Timary for her encouragement and tutelage; to the Paos and to Gretchen for their invaluable gifts of laughter and fun; to Deb M. for providing something to occupy the hands while the mind is full; to Carol Lee, Stephanie, Jane and Timary for helping me breathe just that little bit easier as the medical expenses mount; to Jane, Denise and Nancy who are giving me something to look forward to (see you all at Shepherd's Harvest!)... and to all the women I've met online who are traveling on the same road, and sharing the same burdens.

And most of all, I need to thank my family for their patience and love and support. Especially my mom, who has been there with me every step of the way and never lets me fall.

You are all a light and a blessing, and the world is a better place because you are in it.

Thank you.

4 comments:

Delighted Hands said...

Excellent mindset for heading into this week's events. Hope all goes well for you!

Jane Carlstrom said...

Hi E, Thank you so for these gracious and warm comments. If we do more or give more; please know it is not just because you expressed gratitude, we most likely would do more regardless.

It is however, so nice to know we are being helpful, supportive and not intruding. You gift to us is your openness, your letting us in, your not hiding and wallowing alone in distress. Most of us, I expect, have the caring and love inside waiting to be shared. Letting us direct it, allowing us to care in specific ways is synergistic - you benefit, we benefit; and there is just generally more positiveness in the universe because of the interaction.

Along with many others thinking of you and wishing so hard for the very best outcome in this phase of treatment.

Hugs,
Jane

Carrie K said...

What's the old axiom? Ask and ye shall receive.

mrspao said...

Hugs xxxxxoooooxxxxxx